When entering this school year, I was already in a bad place. I have struggled so much mentally for my whole life really and this year was no different. When thinking of my many years at SMSA, capstone was something that I always looked forward to, but COVID really made it an unpredictable project. When beginning my capstone, I had an idea that fell through and was suddenly lost on what I could do to help others. A friend reminded me of a study group I did years ago, and suggested that I do something similar again. I am so grateful for this friend, because this is really the best project for me. But, it was not always smooth sailing. For the first month of my capstone project, I honestly did not feel like I was accomplishing much. I had my weekly meetings and would occasionally help people on the side but I was not satisfied with my own work. I expected so much more from myself but it was so hard for me to find the motivation to wake up in the morning, let alone go the extra mile for a project. But everything changed for me one day. I woke up and was honestly just happy, which is a feeling that had become so foreign to me. This feeling continued for weeks and now happiness is my new normal. The heaviness I felt for so long does not linger in my heart and mind anymore. This happiness and newfound joy sparked the willingness and determination to do better, because it was completely within my reach. I started reaching out to more people, trying to connect more with the students that would have never gone out of their way to ask me for help. The ones I know truly needed it, just could never bring themselves to ask. Asking these people was completely out of my comfort zone and was something I tried avoiding at the beginning of my project. I tend to stay away from people I have had previous negative encounters with but this project made me realize that I was so wrong about so many people. People really matured and changed throughout high school and the quarantine/shut down had a really big impact on so many students. I was so terribly wrong about so many individuals and I am disappointed that I allowed the past to dictate the way I felt about people for so long but it made me realize that you need to let things go and move forward. As someone that struggles with asking for help, watching my peers have the courage to admit and be aware that they are truly struggling and need assistance was inspiring to me. I have built beautiful relationships with people because of my project and that has been my favorite portion, alongside pushing the people I help to realize that they are capable of doing it all on their own. As much as I love helping my peers and will continue to do so regardless of capstone or the circumstance, I always remind the people I am helping that they are so entirely capable of doing it on their own, too. But I understand the feeling of not having faith in yourself, especially when you don’t have people around you who believe in you. I hope that through the connections I have made with these students I have been able to reassure them of their abilities and I will continue to do so up until the last day of school. The month of May has been the best part of my capstone and its when I finally felt like I was making a difference, even if it was for a few people. I began to see a lot of the same students, and the more and more we worked together the more comfortable we both got and I began to understand why they were behind in work or struggling so much to keep up. Through my project I have learned so much about myself and had so many genuine moments of self reflection that I may not have had otherwise. Moving forward, I will definitely continue to help people with their work especially in college and I will focus on forgiveness and letting go of insignificant grudges and old feelings. People change and mature with time and experiences and everyone is worthy of another shot to prove themselves. I am completely reassured that I picked the right major and that helping and healing others is what my purpose is in this world.